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Thursday, May 9, 2013

Have You Ever Felt Left Out? Please Don't Let Others Feel That Way!

lone flower photo: Lone Flower flower2220.jpg

I'm not usually one for writing personal posts, but today is different!

This morning my youngest son had Muffins for Moms at his preschool. Now, since I've gone back to work full time my parents or my husband usually take care of preschool drop off and pick up. That being said, I have never met many of the other mothers whose children are in my son's class.

I have however, met three or four of the mothers that came to my son's birthday party a few months ago. This party was mostly comprised of close friends and family. So, these preschool mothers did not know any of the other party goers. I made it a point to introduce myself to every preschool mom and have a pretty lengthy conversation with each of them. I know some of my friends and family made the same effort.

The last thing I wanted to do was make anyone feel unwelcome, lonely or left out!

Well, today at my son's preschool I felt all three of those emotions. Every mother that I said hello to, either completely ignored me and walked away or gave me a slight smile and walked away. Even those mothers that I had shared a conversation with at my son's party, just a few months back.

Picture my son and I sitting at a kid sized table with six chairs. Two of those chairs were obviously occupied by my son and me so that left four empty chairs. As a mother approaches with her daughter I was so excited that she was going to sit with us. I thought, "Yay, someone to talk to!" I was in shock when she walked up and snagged two of the chairs to go sit at a table that was already full. This happened again until our table was vacant except for my son and I.

After my son ate his muffin, he got up to play. I stuck around for about 15 more minutes pondering whether I should go crash another table. But, by that time I felt so defeated I just did not have the strength. I slowly got up, walked over to my son and told him goodbye.

As I stood outside of the classroom, I looked through the window watching the remaining mothers laugh and talk with each other. Now, many of these women probably see each other every time they drop off and pick up their child. Of course they would build relationships over the school year. I'm not putting them down for that. I just wish that even just one of them would have made an effort.

The moral of my post today...please don't ever let anyone feel unwelcome, lonely or left out! I truly hope that I have never made anyone feel this way and I never want to in the future.


Pink Cake Plate said...

Oh Kara, My heart hurts for you and with you I have been in your shoes many many times. I am going to an event tonight I have not been to and I am sure there will be people there I have never met. Thank you for sharing this I will take it with me tonight and make sure it is not me excluding someone. I cant do anything about what someone else will do but I can make sure I act in a way that I would want others to act around me. Thank you again!

Kara Hyvarinen said...

Thanks for the kind words, Laura! I know my day can only get better :)

Anonymous said...

Oh I'm so sorry! That can be so hard...I totally understand.

I want you to know that me and my daughter would have sat with you and your son.

Kate Eschbach said...

Oh my goodness - I'm so sorry. I truly hate feeling. And you know what? They really missed out - because you are one of the absolutely loveliest people I know.


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